"Shing na thekeo jodi naam shingho hotey parey tobey chana chara mishti keno sandesh hotey parey na?".... This is my kind of reasoning with the self.... "ami oto reason er dhar dhari na".... As you know I am not the kind who understands the basics of science, a reasonable person is not what I am.... so a fudge without paneer / Indian Cottage Cheese or kheer earns the name sandesh at this home. I could have named it a fudge, instead wished naming it TOFU JAGGERY SANDESH. What I "wish" is important to me. We get it or not, it isimportant to stay true to what we want in life. Like yesterday evening, I was longing to taste dried fish and I did cook it until 9:30 pm and then had our dinner around 10 pm which is normal at this home.
What was surprising was the husband's face being seen at an "unearthly hour" ... @7:30 pm... which is unbelievable on a weekday. I was out to the mall opposite our home... buying some gifts, then ended up buying for myself. I never had the necessity to hide from the husband what I buy, seeing him as I entered through the main door was not a shocker! Some of my friends do, some even used to hid their sarees in my wardrobe for a prolonged period. Ask me why? They are not in control when they shop.... I take pride in saying I never lose control.... I loved a few high end sarees this time in India, was carrying my card too but I know how and when to keep a check. This is not a big deal for me who learnt to put shackles on her feet at a tender age of fifteen or sixteen .... I do not step in to preoccupied lands that give me the feel of dejection! Either I own what I want or keep a considerable distance, I hate to be anyone's subject of mercy .... that gets the wild out of me! I laugh at all kinds of "lectures" we give to each other....
In reality, we never can let go of the hurt , the bruises leave a permanent mark .... The wish for sole ownership of what we love is natural and evil at the same time. I have the courage to exhibit the evil in me, majority do not. What I did or do is, I never get the evil in me get out of control, neither will ever reconcile with those who encroached in the way of my life with nasty intentions.... For the rest of you, I have no issues! Till date life has been good, I do not know what tomorrow brings in.... will never show the audacity of cursing others. Let us put the bitterness at bay and get some sweet for the majority around.... who happens to be well wishers!
Do you know I love the Tom & Jerry Show and today is the birthday of my real life Jerry? This Jerry hates sweets and I had to go ahead with a vegetarian, sweet share TOFU JAGGERY SANDESH today, haha. Well, a picture of "maacher jhol, hansher dim er jhol, peyazkoli bhaja" went as a birthday wish in a private message. It was dear friend Swati's and may be others' marriage anniversary yesterday, dear Vijay Dinanath's elder daughter's birthday too .... We have a friend at every juncture and ocassions can be any.... why has it to be a personal celebration to be special?.... Yesterday Nishi Pulugurtha & Team's pictures on Dum Dum Rotary's Charitable work for the unfortunate was what seemed like a celebration to my eyes! Not all celebrations are an eye sore to me... haha! I am villainous that is true but I keep my intents open & clear always...
I am a harmless being who does not wish to be involved in anything that causes her suffocation & yes, a feel of insult, failure! Rest, I always pray "Ishwar shokoler mangal korun".... About the food share today, it all started with a packet of Tau Kwa I got home the day before yesterday to add to my salads. Tofu is an acquired taste for us, we can have it after a good marination, batter fried with a garnish of different sauces. I strongly felt I cannot have this much just like that only with a seasoning. I went ahead with preparing a vegetarian sweet adding a good amount of powdered milk to it, while the jaggery powder was used as a sweetener. There was a bit of ghee and some dry fruits as garnish... green cardamom to flavour! I have seen earlier a few of my known, esteemed bloggers using tofu to prepare a fudge! Question is that did the Tau Kwa remain a Tau Kwa at the end? I did not want it to be either!
TOFU [not silken] : 250-300gm
MILK POWDER : 5tbsp + 3tbsp
POWDERED SUGAR : 2 tbsp
JAGGERY POWDER : 1/3 tbsp [I use a chemical free variety]
GREEN CARDAMOM POWDER : 11/2tsp [freshly made]
GHEE : 2tbsp
CHOPPED WALNUT & PISTACHIO TO GARNISH!
PROCEDURE :
The TAU KWA packet!
Cut the packet and place the amount on a plate.
Break it until it gets a crumble like texture! I saved one block for a salad, I may turn it onto a gulab jamun... ease your heart from all that heaviness, emptiness and fill it with love.
Put the crumbled tau kwa in a blender and blend it to a paste.
Pour it on a plate and add 5 tbsp of powdered milk, powdered sugar.
Mash the entire amount well. Heat ghee on a wok.
Add the mashed content to it.
We have the jaggery ready on the kitchen counter, just measure and add.
Mix very well and continuously stir for 3-4 minutes. Now add the remaining of the powdered milk.
Fold in well and keep stirring for 3-4 minutes. Add the freshly made green cardamom powder now and fold in well.
Mix well, stir for a minute and transfer to a plate.
While it is cooling, take some walnuts & pistachios in a bowl... either chop them or roughly grind in a mortar and pestle.
Knead the dough for 3-4 minutes while it is still warm!
Tear off small portions and shape as you wish.
Garnish with chopped dry fruits & nuts!
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