Today I woke up with a heavy heart, not really heavy but was feeling rather uncomfortable.... uncanny may be the right word. My sleep pattern has undergone a sea change after I relocated from Kolkata. For me it was always 10pm-5am sound sleep. After marriage, I saw the new home severely lack discipline. As I always say it is the Almighty's blessings that the two kids did not stray, there were higher chances. In fact, before marriage I realised it is hard to accept that home's way of life. I felt I will change and discipline the setup but later had known it is impossible to change a pattern. They too tried to make me their pet, could they? In that home I saw people sitting with tea around 10pm after coming back from neighbourhood chat sessions, some days around 11:45pm-12am, there is not a bit of exaggeration in what I say. We were asked to eat and sleep, so I did! I served the rest and had my dinner, going to bed happened after 11pm..... why should I even wait and show my generosity for something that is unproductive and fruitless. Later in life, I did get my own home but I could not discipline it, people were not cooperative in this matter.
In the time period when I had a beautiful "apni-kopni" life with my toddler in a 550 sq.ft. space, this mumma would sleep asking her toddler to stick to her belly else "ghyago bhoot" would take him away. No one in this world can pamper me ever in comparison to that tenderly touch, nothing can be my lullaby these days when my actual sleep period is hardly five hours, the father had to make his ten year old son independent, fine... he has to listen for life "hingshemi korey amar cheler sangey amai alada korechish, kono norom byapar achey toder modhya? tor bonta ektu ja normal." The thing is, some of my friends used to scold me when to feed my son or to make him sleep or study, I referred to "ghyago bhoot." I had to stop, today he is scared of flies if not ghosts. Mumma continues to and early morning she herself was caught in midst of supernatural or paranormal beings in an unknown land where no one could give her the direction of an address she was asking for. She was wandering alone scared, waiting to know where actually she can get a safe place to spend the night. This all happened between 4am - 6:30am today. I wake up around 4am, do some necessary job to get few more traffic to my blog, come to the living room and again try to sleep for two hours. The husband went off to the neighbouring country yesterday and I woke up with fear, with an uncanny feeling but to this. The vastness of a sky gets trapped in an overly concrete jungle.
The picture is taken at 6:25am this morning. I came back to my normal self finding me in the known! I tremendously felt the urge to bake a healthy bread using baking powder and soda a bit and I did. I wish to share the pictorial experience on my business pages tomorrow.
My morning tea session is a ritual and I must learn to bake my own healthy biscuits. Baking early morning may be the result of me spending sometime at Bread Talk last evening. The husband left home around 1pm and I was missing our Sunday afternoon "khunshuti jukto chat" .... Post lunch, I went to sleep, dreamt of making a two ingredient cookie with cornmeal and banana, woke up and went to BreadTalk for a cup of latte with red quinoa bun. We all had "pathar mangsho o haathey gora ruti" on Saturday night, come on, we are versatile. I would share everything tomorrow hopefully; now have this egg free, vegetarian, more or less healthy cup cakes with multi grain atta and cornmeal topped with raisins. I feel cornmeal or atta is a raw deal in cakes and breads, call it unhealthy or what, refined flour is kind of Madhubala in the baking world. So, the raisins and the cinnamon powder would balance the raw, wild approach of this EGG FREE MULTIGRAIN ATTA CORNMEAL KISHMISH CUP.
What I was wanting to say is we can bypass a nightmare bringing in some positivity into our lives. For me it is a good book, a long walk, a cheap buy, stirring up dishes.... what is it for you? Do it! Do not just indulge in fruitless activities discussing people, their relationships, their home, collecting news and then spreading them, creating divide. This is something I have always hated, so I draw a boundary line not letting anyone or everyone get in. I study intents and then just fail to hug those who do not match my guidelines with regards to friendship..... after the University level, its really very few friends we make, acquainted, known circle helping each other it is actually. I take more interest in the beauties my eyes meet.... nature, gothic structures, adventurous woods. Keep figures and nature separate.... a human figure is so minuscule to nature's beauty & bounty. Looking at them, I tell the husband its time to move to a greener land before we retire in Kolkata. All of his business, industry revolves in and around Mumbai, Houston, Dubai, HongKong, London.... rows and rows of tall buildings. London still is okay but UK's political situation is scary at this time. Mumbai do I like because anytime we can make budgeted tours to Matheran, Lonavla-Khandala, Panchgani, even Ajanta-Ellora.... God! please do something! I keep telling him "Boss, we have not tasted 1/20th of India's beauty, when?" We feel very safe in this island but I feel trapped in here between high-rises, if we cannot buy property here whats the point? We are aged, no point applying for permanent residency, we have no future here and I wish to grow some "dhyarosh, kumro, lau" on my tiny, green corner. That seems to be a remote dream, till then let me buy them and cook, alongside such vegetarian, few ingredients cup cakes EGG FREE MULTIGRAIN ATTA CORNMEAL KISHMISH CUP should keep coming!
MULTIGRAIN ATTA : 1/2COFFEE MUG
CORNMEAL / BHUTTAR ATTA : 1/2COFFEE MUG
EVAPORATED CREAMER : 100ML
BAKING POWDER : 1TSP
BAKING SODA : 1/4TSP
CINNAMON POWDER : 1TSP
VANILLA ESSENCE : 1TSP
SUGAR : 1/2 OR LITTLE MORE OF A SMALL TEA CUP [I USED STEVIA POWDER]
VINEGAR : 1TBSP
RAISIN : 3-4-5 FOR EACH CUP CAKE
OIL : 1/2SMALL TEA CUP
PROCEDURE :
Take the two flours, baking powder & baking soda in a bowl and mix very well. Okay, I have off late started with the better practice of passing them through a sieve.
Take the evaporated creamer, vinegar, sugar or stevia powder, oil in a blender and blend it at high for a minute.
Pour it to the flour mixture and fold in lightly. They say not to beat hard a cup cake batter. Now add the cinnamon powder, vanilla essence to it.
I have done them on the stovetop! I had placed a wired stand in the middle of a wok and heated the wok for 5-6 minutes.
I had half filled the aluminium cups and added some raisins in each.
I have arranged the cups on a muffin tray and placed it atop the wired stand!
I have arranged the cups on a muffin tray and placed it atop the wired stand!
Make them your tea time delights.
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