I am starting to write late. I enjoy writing, just that it feels lethargic today! Mesmerised by beautiful scene outside, I am under the spell of cool weather actually!
I ain't our mother, she pestered her man to become a believer from leftist. Her man himself could have shifted from leftist to left-leaned! He never became right-wing, believed in divine powers without getting that ritualistic! That's not a problem, we have to remain truthful to what we believe in. The father-in-law is hardcore leftist! He is father figure, if my friends act my father, mother, I get off. We needn't complicate relationships, not in social media. Else what complain do I have except for man, son raising their voices? The son doesn't even communicate.
Wish I was able to eat lot like before, that would keep me busy. With Cristine's assistance, my interest in it, cooking is chill-pill. Since 2020, once son left home, time spent in kitchen is minimal. I felt my blog would stop functioning, it's alive! My other food blogger friends shifted interest in other skillsets, I lack other skills, neither master cook. I am vocal about mastering one skill, have entrepreneurship, I lack both! People here earn selling food from home. My language skill doesn't allow to go on print I craved for.
I do value health! However, keeping with tradition, I cook "pithe-puli-mishti". We can't have healthy food alone, the thought is worrying. I wouldn't have any purpose of living unless I get to cook!
I must cook what we grew up having. This island gets me multiple joys, be it finding Cuticura powder, Cinthol soap in local stores, fruits of choice! Only one known fruit isn't grown here, "jam"! I feel home without any fear roaming at unearthly hours! We have to leave, sooner or later. I would carry along this island city, memories of few! I like EE Cummings' poem, "I carry your heart with me...", few years back I emailed it to old flame, He would remain my friend forever, childhood buddy after all; I hardly feel any emotional attachment. In relationships, mutual respect is key!
I thought I got liberated from excess emotional baggage, all of a sudden I feel like reading Cummings again, not to Bossy, son. Who knows why they don't make me stand on dock in a courtroom? It may be because they know they are my home, take me for granted! Let me cook, serve, eat and not seek validation! I dislike it when people make fun of my feelings! I tortured old flame for over a decade sending him emails, I shouldn't have! My present day self is composed, hardened!
It took me years to get right the sweet snack! I learn from my mistakes, I don't stop trying until I don't get a recipe right! I wish I had dedication in studies. I would still remain mediocre but might have got productive; sitting idle wasn't my agenda! Anyway, this sweet snack is done in family on special prayer days, I have noticed few other states in India cook it in winter! I jumped out of joy when I first saw it, puffed rice balls here; but wouldn't buy them, you know. If we don't carry a little of pride, we cease to live!
WHITE SESAME SEED : 1/2 COFFEE MUG
SUGARCANE JAGGERY : 100-125 GM
GREEN CARDAMOM POWDER : 1/2 TSP
The amount yielded 9 bars!
PROCEDURE :
Heat wok on gas oven top, dry roast sesame seeds until light brown, transfer it to bowl!
Add jaggery to hot wok, stir until it gets sticky. Add green cardamom powder.
Add roasted sesame seeds, Fold in well, keep stirring for 6-7 minutes.
Transfer mixture to baking sheet or plate, shape, level top.
Cristine did the shaping part.
Cut into your choice of shapes, I preferred squares.
Feel the crunch in every bite, enjoy!
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