Do you find the colour scheme dull compared to what I say.... I love colours in my food. I mean a cashew nut- chocolaty ice-cream cannot have any other colour than this, but I could have made the surroundings a bit colourful. Then I am one whimsical, fat, old lady who gets on her own nerves quite often and refuses to behave normal. What to do I am never a good observant or a well thought person, I have a questionable amount of grey matter. I / We could not satisfy our mother's expectations in academics which made her sad. It is that now in frame smiling old man who used to comfort her saying.... we had been average or with normal i-Q level... leave them at themselves. She never could. She had to draw inference from elsewhere... you know their daughter got a doctorate and bagged an offer to teach in a well known university.... their son is an IIT-IIM alumnus. Our super cool daddy who never believed in imposing their wish on the kids... never echoed his wife. He perhaps did not know which class we were in ... haha. It is the mother who handled.... now I feel we could have made her little more happy in a small way if not big. Now she smiles a bit when her son gets the best performer award of the year in his company. The poor boy keeps the trophy beside the hospital bed expecting the father to wake up for once. I could not tell him bhai it is not going to work. I was wondering when my 'little brother' turned such a responsible family person. Gone are the days when the mother and the 'big sister' were worried with few of his ways. I was too worried when every six months he got a new picture off course of a girl and asked 'didibhai' do you like this. The over protective 'big sister' scolded him hard .... mend your ways bhai... no reasonably sane girl can be with you if you do not. He played cricket so well.... a couple of local clubs approached my mom..... but then most of the middle class families cannot take such risks. Now he plays for his company only. 'Big Sister' feels so good and relieved to see her footballer father's cricketer son turning onto such a responsible and caring family man.
So, I well know what most of the teenager boys look for in a girl... I never had any of the attributes ever of which the very self-respecting me do not regret at this age. You see however painful a rejection is... it has to be accepted.... feelings can never be mutual in all cases. What pisses me off is when you are used wrongly.... well not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to mentor... I got the best ones. Hyper sensitive, weak personalities like me are very much averse to fight out such situations... Readers look back to your teen hood days... you will find some self proclaimed beauties and leaders trying to control your lives.... there is less harm till you cause severe damage to a relationship brainwashing a considerably soft-hearted person wrongly, you should blame both though. In such a scenario... one person has to retreat backward till reaching the edge of the sea.... looking at the waves they might wish to say can you please take me along? Then you suddenly see a shadow and you turn around to say 'give me some sunshine, give me some rain.' Why so?... because "life is beautiful." Last year when I said a woman can attempt to destroy a woman's life... many of my friends got angry.... I never meant to generalise it but to say it does happen.
When it comes to our loved ones... we do rise above self... so I strongly believed if someone had a strong family to take control just as we did for my brother.... one's life cannot go haywire with not so acceptable influences. So far your defeat is concerned.... leave it to the almighty. On a lighter tone, I definitely like the Bollywood style.... 'pati-patni-aur woh' kind of stories... if only they could stop citing one as a villain. In reality, each one is playing their role in the society. The pati / patni or the husband / wife need not worry until and unless the other two are caught holidaying in the Swiss Alps... hahaha...... the naughty me... In fact, if the 'woh'..... the other person is like me.... he or she would invite the legal partner and say 'do you fancy a vodka martini?' This blind Bollywood fan tells her man I wish to play with snow balls wearing a saree..... that only a Yash Chopra fan can say. The most unromantic, chopstick of the world said... S I need to travel this weekend, be a good girl and accept. I have noticed his tours increases when our son's examination is near. As of now, I wish to grow my hair and get a Smita Patil look..... haha idle brains are up to all these. I can feel a dire need to throw away my glasses and go back to my old days using my contact lenses... trust me I cannot as I have a perennial dry conjunctivitis condition. I loved to give a touch of green to all my pictures as way of showing gratitude to a vibrantly beautiful green to whom I owe this blog. I use red because my family loves it, because the identity of my second home... or this island is red.... which has given us safety and security knowing that we will earn here and go back.... it has taught me to pick up waste and throw in the dustbin. I love different shades of blue as all dreamers do. At times I wear sarees in non-Bengali style just to show some love to my loving non-Bengali friends in the island, in India or abroad or to some Bengali friends born and brought up outside Bengal. Now if few people weave stories around them I have to say no to it. I say no to be tied to any triangular, square, diagonal, hexagonal relationships that I have left behind decades back. Coming to smiles.... it does not come naturally to me.... but I still do... you know why? some dears say smile S... you look good... and also to hide the fact... I have four fillings in the upper and lower jaw by now... still if you say I have a good setting of teeth ... I am super elated... hahaha... Remember... I wish to play match-match game only with people who have not caused harm to me... with those who did not rob me of my self-esteem or self respect. Do not expect this day dreamer to be a good observant either. One thing is sure.... not so good friends can be super moms... I wish and bless their kids to be successful in life and bring happiness to the family.... rest please spare me.
If you are still reading my rubbish... please do stop by for the recipe. I actually love jotting down 'my tryst' with life and philosophy in this space. This ice-cream made with cashew nut powder and chocolate chips is super yum and just perfect to end a delicious meal of spicy curries and mains. A very bubbly, smiling face said... aunty its good.... I like it. I think I need to take interest in different cuisines and get into more nightmarish dreams of whom to distribute my much loved sarees. I look at the face of my own and burst into tears... please do not get too deep into it.... do not expect too much from any relationship now..... be good friends and focus on studies..... be strong enough a fighter to overcome any hurdle & accept anything in life like your daddy... never be a fool like your mother. Rest I lock myself in the kitchen humming 'good choice baby' and prepare a big bowl of Cashewnut Chocolate Chips Ice-cream.... come let us do it together... I have eaten up your head already and wish to treat you with this yummy, 'homemade' frozen dessert.
Full Cream Milk : 500ml
Fresh Cream : 250ml
Cashew nut : 10-15
Chocolate : A medium sized bar
Sugar : 1/2medium cup
Take the full cream milk in a bowl and put for boil. Once it comes to a boil, add the sugar and boil at low heat till it reduces to about 200-250 ml. Let it cool.
Break the chocolate bar into pieces. Take both the cashew nuts and chocolate pieces in a grinder and grind to a coarse powder.
Add the boiled milk and fresh cream to the mixer. Pulse for about 2 minutes. Pour onto a bowl. Cover with cling wrap. Freeze it.
Take out after 1 hr and pour into the mixer, pulse for a minute and pour again to the bowl and cover with cling wrap.
Keep in the freezer for at least 5-6 hours. Take out and keep standing for 3-4 minutes. Dip the scoop in hot water and scoop out as much as you wish.