It's Sunday, around 8:25 pm, today's entire morning went planning, buying ingredients, executing this recipe! We enjoyed having it!
I dislike complications. I have security sitting with me on the couch although we ain't watching same, neither chatting, our areas of interest are different! That doesn't affect peace, a home built gradually over a period of twenty eight years! The son called today, most of the time he shouted at me, at least heard voice. Yet, why my mood isn't in place I don't know! It is not an attribute of menopause, mood swings is part of me since childhood! I still couldn't forget a five year old girl getting down the dance floor of Mary Immaculate School! She felt ignored whilst teacher who loved her most was few classrooms away! Sister Marilyn's utmost negotiations could not take me on stage! I remain same, I do not remember the day I bid her good bye! Sitting in Kolkata, we did hear entire Krishnanagar City witnessed her mortal remains being taken in procession, cancer took her away at age 30. My pre-school was spent on her lap, she used to visit our maternal grandparents' home with other nuns, they ran charitable hospitals, our maternal uncles were renowned wholesale medicine dealers. When we left for Kolkata, she gifted me finger ring, pendant with Jesus & Mary, I treasure! I have to wear them, get clicked! I have discussed about this angelic Keralite Christian earlier. I tried to be like her with my kids, couldn't inherit her poise, wisdom! I get caught in own thoughts, suffer, get angry, what not! But I am always ready to, willing to gift my readers good recipes!
It is 10:50 pm, local time! I need to retire to the bed. There is no winter here, but monsoon. I have noticed, like Indian winter, there is need for heavy moisturiser, lip balms, thin bed spread gets that cosy feel of winter, "ummm"! I am a morning person always, my eyes are wide open as early as 4:30am-5am, how late I sleep! In my side of family, we used to sleep early, wake up early. Once at man's home, I found everything different from mine. They had lunch at 3 pm, tea even at 10 pm was fine, dinner was at 11 pm. It took me time to adjust. One thing I must say, their home had fun all over, friends & relatives were welcome 24/7. The mother-in-law I was loggerhead with is no more hot headed, we would chat about our respective son's weird behaviours, the father-in-law is always easy going.
It's Monday 10:40 am, I didn't take shower, do prayer; that doesn't give me comfort! I wish to write, wrap up, colour my greys, greying since young! Cristine anyway offers once to my God family, I offer two times. I forgot there's a monastery in the neighbourhood, nearer than RKM. I just want to visit, sit for long, that calms my mind! I am an over thinker, self doubted person, to worry is my pleasure & pain both, my soul easily becomes chaotic! Writing blogposts, learning favourite numbers, giving voiceover to recipes get me pleasure! I am back stage person, love those smart, accomplished who have reached where I couldn't! It hurts me if people question my intents, I just do not wish to be "kebab mein haddi", I don't wish to play extra's role in others' lives! I don't have understanding of surroundings, expect intelligent to come clear, tell me where I went wrong! I would be left with nothing if I quit social media, I do not have work life, also enjoy being known around bit! Off course, I wish for fame, have lakhs of followers! That requires skillsets I lack!
My fears are manifold. I fear I have put on weight, had an unhealthy breakfast this morning!
Boh tea is to be made with milk, sugar! I rarely have, he doesn't touch, gets acidity! I need to wrap up, switch off music that is playing, I cannot multi task! It's such nice of Cristine, she wouldn't bother me unless I call her! We stay together all day, in our own spaces! She is twelve years with us, knows maam is lost case, entangled in her own thoughts always. I wish I could be as cheerful, with broad smile like others around. But No, melancholy rules over me! I have food on plate without earning a penny, a minuscule part of my savings is what I have earned working nine years! Son would be completing MS in few months, mumma need not guide him anymore! Yet, what gets me anxiety, sorrow I do not know! Why did I have to be sensitive, why I had to imagine, make up stories inside my head, then brood, feel sad, don't know! I cannot get overwhelmed, daydream about strangers I met once, twice in life! Is my man reading? I use this space not for recipes alone, but for honest confessions, to unload my heart, soul, mind; all same and enclosed in "Podi Pishir Barmi Baksho?" I wish to watch a movie of choice this afternoon instead of going for walk!
I personally don't believe in celebrating particular dates, everyday we should be thankful, every day is as beautiful as birthday / anniversary! Then, this world is not what I believe in! As food blogger, my wish, my job is to greet world with recipes relevant to the occasion! Today, our mother's "chalkumror pur bhaja" or mother-in-law's "moong dal-lau jhali" wouldn't work! We thoroughly enjoyed this vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free PAN ROASTED SPICED ALOO IN AVOCADO! A couple of recipes worked on my mind getting this spiced, yummy treat tossed in Bengali style roasted & ground spices! Cristine hates potato, loves avocado, what I cook on Sundays, I keep for her to have on Mondays! Have it on its own, serve it with baked breads, handmade breads! We ate an egg meal last night!
INGREDIENTS :
AVOCADO : 2
POTATO : 2
FRESH CORIANDER : 2 SPRIG
GREEN CHILLI : 2
SESAME SEED : 1 & 1/2 TSP
LEMON JUICE : 2 TBSP
CORIANDER SEED : 1 TSP
CUMIN SEED : 1 TSP
RED CHILLI : 1
SALT : AS REQUIRED
OIL : 1 TBSP
PROCEDURE :
Peel, wash potatoes, cut each into 4 pieces! Put for boil adding enough water! Drain water once 75% done!
Marinate potato with salt!
Wash, cut, scoop, mash avocado!
Mince washed coriander, green chillies, add to mashed avocado, also lemon juice, salt! Fold in well.
Dry roast and grind white sesame seeds, coriander seeds, cumin seeds, dry red chilli!
Add spice powder to avocado mix. Fold in well!
Add 1 tbsp oil to pan, slow cook each side of potato until brown!
Potatoes you may oven cook!
Toss potatoes in avocado mix, sprinkle some roasted sesame seeds on top, serve hot!
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