CURRY AND SPICE: DOI BAEL ER KULFI

They are amazing you know.... both taste wise and health wise. During the season, I do visit the Bangladeshi shops for this kind of goodies... like peyazkoli... that is onion flowers went off, now is the season for Bengal Quince / Wood Apple / Bael... I definitely will get them home and have. Dadu.... the maternal grandfather made it a point to have it everyday during the season. I used to call my paternal grandfather "apel dadu" as he got us apple whenever he visited us from Assam... the reason why you will not get too many stories about my father's side often... I met them occasionally! The old man known for his benevolence left us when I was 13. Our paa inherited his good heart from his parents, okay including his fury. Anyway, all of us in the family more or less enjoy this fruit. Now, what I see in this generation of kids is that they want everything dressed, a nice packaging is important to them.... mine is not an exception. There is a salon chain in this island that cuts hair at 3:80 $, I obviously would ask him to go there, but no he has to go for a 10$ cut.... what he is doing with his hair is even more irritating. I am not used to defying the parents at all times.... my husband is not bothered because he did not grow up in a rule bound environment... he enforces the same at this home to which I do not feel comfortable.

There was a time when I used to feel sandwiched... the mother saying "what is all these mamoni... people sleep till 1pm and have their lunch at 3pm." You cannot change a set system, specially if you are on the softer side. I have come a long way thereafter and realised or accepted that we need to overlook certain things for a greater benefit. If I constantly nag my husband and son, they will not listen to or respect my wish... they are not that kind... let us focus on what keeps us happy together.... doing so I serve bael fruit to the son in form of smoothie or prepare a DOI BAEL ER KULFI .... If I keep complaining like my mother about everything that is not in accordance to her wish, I cannot have a happy life! I cannot be a happy soul either if happiness depends on those who gets to be my pet... this is my mother-in-law's theory... obviously she will be unhappy with me who never agreed to give in to... no self-respecting person can fulfil her demands... my love towards her cannot be natural like her kids or husband. That is what they failed to understand that my feelings for them will not be natural... it can be only mutual... their actions towards me did not prove the law.

Now that I am nearing 50, I myself will turn a mother-in-law to the son's wife sooner. If I can handle the huge amount of irritation the son's haircut is generating in me, I should be able to accept all that I would dislike in my daughter-in-law ... in that case I should or I am training myself not to wake up together under one roof every morning. The drama regarding Nachiketa's "Bridhyashram" has to stop... people need to grow up.... if T and me live longer... we will end up in an old age home.... we will madly miss the son but will wholeheartedly understand his problem... My question is to some; "why do you unnecessarily sensualise an issue?... what will happen to some dear people of mine who are issueless?... in such cases who will you blame and write silly notes to target the audience thereafter?"... To what extreme can a single child daughter do for her parents? Should not we keep all the drama aside, think and reconsider, stop accusing amounting to extreme pressurisation on the daughter or the son....

Off course I do not have any sympathy for those whose parents are found abandoned in a railway station or a bus stand. Such kinds should not be spared. "sneho nimnogami".... I am not doing anything for the son considering what to get back.... I have seen my parents .... I am applying it building up mine who in turn should do it for his kids. This is how the society works. I do not want my son to have soda drinks all the time, I wish him to adopt some healthy habits... food or otherwise.... In future, hopefully he may be hesitant to feed his kids everything store-bought. Until few years back, I sponged his body, changed his clothes every night before going to the bed .... all of a sudden the husband barred me from doing anything for the son... the anger is still there inside... till date I barge on him "why did you do this so early? I do not go out to work, neither take the son to school and then roam around and chat with the friends all day through... did you get jealous of the mamma-son's deep bond?" He told me the reason but I will not go public with it... I do not want anyone to cancel the recent trip to our island. On days when I do not wish to stop the fight.... I keep dragging it longer... "If you agree to the son's wish to go to the bahargaon... I have few conditions...find a A lister college in a remote state in which the terrorists may not have any interest, where the number of gun carrying kids is way less.... the important part is that can we consider ourselves well off enough to be able to buy air tickets whenever I wish to?... I will get destructive if my son falls sick and I am unable to see him".... Way easier is to find the ways to admit him in SMOU...

The men at home do not listen to me which adds more to my mental illness... Not everything is perfect in this island... the major problem is their inability to provide a foreigner's kid higher education... What irritates me more is the casual approach of my men towards academics... they are not bothered else the son has the ability to secure 40-41 / 45 in his IB Final with a bit of motivation. Wondering what kind of parenting is this ... setting loose the child to this extent.... I had this healthy, frozen dessert delight DOI BAEL ER KULFI without waiting for the husband. He is travelling, only to come back end of the next week.

I am not my mother either that I will stop living and see myself asking the son that I had so much of hope on him, I go for walks, I swim, I eat appam after a 9.7km of walk and totally spoil the effort, I even insult one Chitramma trying to hum "uyire uyire".... You know na music cannot have any boundary. The great news is that the son ate one big of those kulfi / frozen delight at breakfast besides roshogolla and a piece of bread with planta.

Mumma will finish this post and cook Millet khicuri and Begun Bhaja for all three of us... yet to plan for dinner... such freshly made meals taste like heaven... Once the son's lunch is ready I can go for a swim... the husband's wife can have lunch at 4pm... If we have decided to give birth, we should be ready to keep their interest above everything else...... Well, I have decided not to poke my flat nose anywhere much, let us share the recipe of this no cook, creamy to the core frozen dessert with my readers. Actually, I drained the water from the yogurt and found 1 litre yogurt turning onto mere 250gm. Unable to prepare a no bake cake, I planned this with Bael / Bengal Quince / Wood Apple!

Note : If you are allergic to raw nuts, microwave them for 30 seconds at high before using!

INGREDIENTS :

BAEL FRUIT / WOOD APPLE / BENGAL QUINCE : 2 MEDIUM SIZED I USED HERE

PLAIN YOGURT : 1LT [DRAINING ALL THE WATER, I GOT SOME 250GM OF IT]

SUGAR : 4-5 TBSP [I USED SAME AMOUNT OF SUGAR ALTERNATIVE]

GREEN CARDAMOM POWDER : 1/3TSP

ROSE WATER : 3-4DROP

CHOPPED PISTACHIO : 1TBSP

COARSELY POWDERED PISTACHIO : 2TBSP

PROCEDURE :

Take the yogurt on a clean piece of fine cloth, tie to the kitchen counter... let all the water drain for 5-6 hours.

Extracting the bael fruit is a job else this recipe is all about assembling and mixing.

Break the hard shell of the fruit hitting it hard once on the floor, not on wooden floor. {besh jomiye ekta achar maro}...

Take the flesh on a bowl scooping it with a spoon.

Add a medium teacup of water and keep doing knead and squeeze like movements ... idea is to separate the seeds from the flesh.

Now put the flesh on a strainer in batches and squeeze as much as possible, add little water if it is too thick.

Below is the extract of the fruit, ready to use.

Take down the yogurt and add both to a blender not used to prepare spices. Add the sugar, cardamom.