CHILLED ATA FRUIT PUDDING

A successful experiment ushers in happiness! A dessert with Aata phal / Custard Apple wasn't ever made in our Bengali household, we had it seasonally as fruit! Loving it, when I saw Custard Apple orchard inside Chittorgarh Fort touring Rajasthan in 1996, I felt overjoyed! Rajasthan isn't state we cover within 16 days, we have to visit multiple time, stay longer to unfold it's historical importance! That was my last tour with parents & brother, later I visited Jaipur with man, toddler son, friend's family in 2005 or 2006, don't remember! I remember of beautiful memories created together, frequency increased since son left home in 2020! I cooked dessert today, I cannot serve him, how beautiful it was to watch father-son having what I cooked, served. Cristine too did lot for our son, she is our mental support in an empty nest! Then, I am not the only one to suffer from empty nest syndrome!

During festive season, I get busy writing recipes. Anyone tries them in their kitchens or not I enjoy sharing festive friendly recipes this time of year! Cooking is fruitful activity for me! With excitement of sharing untimely recipe, I started writing last evening. I can't skip my weekday exercise routine, its directly related to my health! If aware since youth, I wouldn't be taking four medicines, supplements! Last night, also got busy making "Missi Roti", ran out of coriander leaves, dried fenugreek leaves, didn't use ghee either!

I prefer sattu [roasted gram flour] over besan [unroasted gram flour], in those days our kind of middle class Bengali homes stocked both! Our mother used soaked rice paste for batter fries instead of gram flour. But you cannot do potato [aloor chop], eggplant [beguni] batter fries with rice paste, gram flour is must. We didn't know use of corn flour, she perhaps doesn't buy in present day; I use lot! She would cook Bengali, handmade breads, curries like Dhaba, jam-jelly, Bengali pickles! Our parents loved Dhaba food while on tour. Once in college, I would take our mother to Southern Indian eateries which only knew about dosa, idli, utthapam. After relocating to Singapore, I have learnt more about their cuisine.

I must cook Family style Bengali Food on Saturdays but I have learnt about world food starting to blog about food. I enjoy experimenting with ingredients! Last Saturday, cooked vegetables, locally got choice of Bhola Mach, cheaper variety of sea bass [croaker family], extremely fond of it. I ain't fond of sea bass, only it's boneless version! I cooked chicken too, eggs can be had anytime!

These days, I cook less desserts, sweets. However, I get cravings every few days for few varieties. I started loving local desserts. I try making dairy-free versions! Today's is one such! 

Chilled watermelon, choice chilled fruits can be my dessert bowl these days. Too much of fruits too a diabetic isn't allowed to have. I prepared this vegan, gluten-free dessert, CHILLED ATA FRUIT PUDDING, it would not only serve those fasting for Navratri, but my community during Durgapuja, Xmas, Kali puja / Diwali, Muslims! This light on stomach vegetarian dessert bowl can be your weekly pleasure. Made with pulp of custard apple, coconut milk, desiccated coconut, sugar, rose water to flavour, pomegranate to garnish, its sooth in your mouth, food pipe, to stomach! Come, let's do it! Life would get us challenges at every turn, we would face bravely, win for sure. I don't have courage to face, I bypass, just this way, indulging in my hobbies! I overcame absurdity inside my head earlier, I would in future, just a matter of time. 

INGREDIENTS : 

CUSTARD APPLE PULP : OF ONE BIG SIZED

COCONUT MILK : 150-200 ML

DESICCATED COCONUT : 2 TBSP

SUGAR : 4 TBSP

ROSE WATER : 1/2 TSP

PROCEDURE :

I prefer using coconut powder to make coconut milk, you may go your way.

Boil thick coconut milk at low flame not more than 5 minutes.

Scoop pulp from washed Custard Apple, discard seeds!

Dry roast desiccated coconut at minimal flame for 3-4 minutes, let cool.

Powder it along with sugar! Add fruit pulp, blend well.

Transfer to bowl, cook in microwave at minimal temperature for 4-5 minutes. Pause every minute, stir!

Once both are cool, beat together well, add rose water, stir!

Chill for few hours in refrigerator. Garnish with pomegranate, serve, have!

MACARONI POTATO FRUITS MEDLEY

 

Our festival in Autumn doesn't call for pasta salad! As life advanced, we became part of world community, we proudly say, " world is our home"! I think starting to blog, I made friends every corner of world! With many I have lost contact, in virtual & real world. I believe we haven't, we are calls away. I chatted with virtual friends from blogging world. Post Covid, there was silence from some. I still think of them, wish they are fine. I ain't comfortable vanishing from scenario all of a sudden. At least, if they could leave a message or their family! I am indeed proud of having concerned heart, if only it was appreciated.

Anyway, this year I am not eager about sharing Bengali delicacies for the occasion. I have lot of such recipes in blog, others keep sharing is a reason. Major reason is I don't enjoy cooking thick meat, fish curries, can't digest either. Yet, I would share appropriate recipes nearer to our festivals. What is "appropriate?" I remember, one such October, we; I, man, friend Joy were seated at ONE STEP UP 1 am in morning during festival, it doesn't sell Bengali Food. On such days, our little monster stayed with grandparents. I don't enjoy dishes having lot of cheese, milk, spices, sauces. Many dishes outside of my community, culture I simply adore.

I choose to have what I enjoy! Lo Mai Gai, watermelon I find healthy afternoon meal. I eat brunch, not breakfast, meal between brunch and dinner needs to be light. A vegetable steamed bun I regular have. The 3$ coffee-ice cream treat at Buskin Robbins you must avail, I loved caramel coffee ice cream but got wind, acidity. Choice of chilled fruits is my anytime pleasure.

What I eat at home hardly have variations. Call me less of Bengali, but flatbreads, veg & egg maki, Lo Mai Gai, upma, idli makes me happier than fish, meat curries these days. It can be because of staying abroad for long, aging may be reason. My digestive system got weaker. Men, Women are conquering world, whilst I get headache with little change in routine. My disappointment would get pointed towards parents. Thats when Man would scold, says only we are responsible for making or spoil our lives. Son seems oblivious about whats going on within family. I am to be blamed, I didn't let him involve, be bothered. Now I want him to behave normal, communicate with us. This recipe is for him, his friends to make for themselves! I wanted to do fun cooking with him when he almost kept one foot outside of home. New moms, take initiatives early, spend as much as good time with kids, one day they would fly, you would think of them while making drumlet snacks.

I am not kind of mother who would hold back kids home or go against their wish. When its time to let them go, we have to. I pray he stays safe & secured in a world thats becoming impatient, violent with each passing day. Also leaving home doesn't mean cutting off ties, yearly once or twice if we could spend time together! Just hoping for better days, also living life meaningfully, cooking, writing, having music in soul, talking to Almighty, meeting friends too. 

Son dislikes "ghugni" but I do cook. Today's pasta salad, MACARONI POTATO FRUIT MEDLEY I made tasted great! It is vegetarian. To make it vegan, gluten-free, use olive oil instead of butter, buy gluten-free macaroni! I used pineapple, muscat, pomegranate, choose your's! Not using potato, onion would alter taste that I wished to serve you. It takes 30-40 minutes making it. I don't know if it would get slimmer you or not, its more or less clean eating if you don't start calculating carb:protein:fat, this & that, you can't live life depending entirely on greens, chunks of meat, fish, eggs, soups. That isn't happiness. Come try my wholewheat & refined flour porota / paratha!

Yesterday, I made vegan, gluten-free cake, sheer khurma, I would talk about it and some more in public, may be tomorrow! We must remain active some way or other!

Few more recipes from blog follows,

SPICED BROWN RICE PATTIES, BAEL FRUIT PARFAIT, VEGAN GLUTEN-FREE KOKI, EASY CRANBERRY CUP

INGREDIENTS :

MACARONI : 50 GM [YOU MAY USE ANY PASTA VARIETY]

POTATO : 1 MEDIUM SIZED

ONION : 1 SMALL SIZED

GREEN CHILLI : 1

FRESH CORIANDER : A SPRIG

GRAPE : 4-5

POMEGRANATE : A HANDFUL

PINEAPPLE CUBE : 1/2 COFFEE MUG 

CRUSHED BLACK PEPPER : 1/4 TSP

CHAAT MASALA : 1/2 TSP

LEMON JUICE : 2 TBSP

SALT : AS REQUIRED

BUTTER : 1 TSP

PROCEDURE : 

Wash, peel, cut, boil potato in enough water, drain water once done. Cube potato smaller.

Boil pasta in enough water adding salt, few drops of oil. Drain water once done al-dente!

Peel, wash, chop pineapple. 

Chop, wash green chilli, grapes. Wash pomegranate.

Assemble everything together in bowl, add salt!

Chop, wash fresh coriander.

Refrigerate to chill for an hour or two. Take out, add lemon juice, melted butter, chaat masala! Mix well, enjoy chilled!

STOVETOP HUMBLE CAKE

 Each month there has Full Moon Day [Purnima], New Moon Day [Amavasya], significant in our culture! I saw parents, family elderlies observing these days having chapati instead of rice, vegetarian meals. I can't remember rituals, don't observe them every month, man, son ain't interested. Full moon day is held auspicious, new moon day isn't, they say Amavasya attracts negative energy. Science may not agree. Certain Full Moon days are more auspicious; Buddha Purnima, Guru Purnima, Guru Purab, Rakhi Purnima. Today is Rakhi Purnima, sisters tie sacred thread on their brothers' wrists. Tagore called it Harmony Day, urged all irrespective of caste, creed, religion to tie sacred thread of bond! You may consider it Friendship Day too.

I am feeling tired! I happily talked to my brother, had late breakfast as usual, then started feeling lethargic.

"May I sleep on the couch" kind of vive is there, as if I fought lot with mind to keep in track, not cross boundaries! How come one imprison soul? I am going to share recipe of cake above in short while, before that I would do talks. This space is meant to express my thoughts, although I don't take the full liberty anymore; I say something, people understand something else. I wouldn't apologise, I am honest about my feelings, actions, I can't fake!

Not understanding this world, I better stay quiet. Why let people point finger. I love sitting, brooding, watching people, food be there. I don't know if it's okay or not to buy maki from outside store, occupy seat for an hour in food court buying a cup of kopi-o-kosong. I can't have big meals in afternoons.

That pizza like bread was at basement of Paya Lebar Square, slice with curry spread, spring onions, I couldn't finish the huge slice. I am "cha-ruti", "cha-biskut" kind.

Exciting it was to discover food court at 4th floor of SingPost building. I keep visiting PayaLebar MRT area, never checked with 4th floor, SingPost building. It's different from rest, that attracts me, would sit there alone with food, drink, worth it. Singapore's history isn't ancient! Their history they restore beautifully in museums, keeping hand pulled rickshaws, through paintings depicting their past. My greatest hurt was visiting highest peak in Manali, 2008. On reaching top, we found solo toilet was dilapidated, where hundreds of tourists would discharge no one had concern, but we fight on trivial issues. What's development? To maintain current infrastructure, to build new! We make too much of noise we don't require to. A janitor appointed there could feed an entire family.

I definitely love India but wish to live outside, I prefer everything well done, be it home or surroundings. 

I have ability to cook, follow my culture wherever I am. Kolkata lives on biryani, pizza, chaat, momo; do people eat their own food? Inter-cultural mingling is necessity, I wouldn't have sustained in Singapore for 15 years, if not welcomed. I would force man to leave decade back. When I hum Bollywood numbers, Singaporeans would frown, smile next moment. I move body, bus captains would wave, smile. I must say, Singaporeans at times need to keep aside rules, laugh out loud. During Covid, amount of rebuke I received was enough reason to flee. I understood their concern for themselves, for me, a foreigner! Being rule bound is good, I think I survived Covid for rules. But you must breathe at times, laugh out loud in public, whats the issue? 

Thats me. My brother, son were thin as man, now they all have put on weight, even man's sister. My brother's girl was perfect, lost it. As long as son's single, mumma would warn him to stay fit. I was obese, don't want to be again. It's me who went crazy after Cristine to get back to her slimmer self. She listened. Maintaining ourselves is necessity. 

Baking, having vegan, gluten-free, dairy free STOVETOP HUMBLE CAKE isn't sin, we have to control the frequency, amount of intake. I had been baking vegetarian, also with egg, basic cakes, biscuits since teen. We love plain cakes, I fear decorating cakes. Son left home, man isn't foodie, we don't need exotic food. On this auspicious occasion, I wanted cake top to look different. The date palm jaggery / patali gur, a slice of pear helped, also rice flour, cornflour, tapioca flour, isabgul, banana, brown sugar, baking powder & soda, oil, coconut, walnut, vanilla essence. I enjoy baking humble cakes. I am satisfied with look, taste of this cake.

INGREDIENTS :

RICE FLOUR : 1 COFFEE MUG

TAPIOCA FLOUR : 1 TBSP

CORN FLOUR : 1 TBSP

BAKING POWDER : 1 TSP

BAKING SODA : 1/2 TSP

COCONUT MILK : 1 SMALL TEA CUP

SHREDDED COCONUT : 1/2 COFFEE MUG

BANANA : 1

PEAR : A THICK SLICE FROM MIDDLE

PSYLLIUM HUSK : 1 TBSP

BROWN SUGAR : 1/2 SMALL TEA CUP [YOU MAY USE WHITE SUGAR]

WALNUT : 2-3 [YOU MAY USE ALMOND, CHERRY]

OIL : 4-5 TBSP

VANILLA ESSENCE : 1TSP

PROCEDURE :

Mix together rice+tapioca+corn flours+psyllium husk in large bowl. 

Blend together sugar, banana, coconut milk, oil, shredded coconut into fine paste. I forgot to add coconut milk, added later.

Beat together dry & wet ingredients for 3-4 minutes. Keep covered for half an hour.

Cut thick slice from middle of pear. Take off skin. Discard seeds.

You may caramelise sugar, I melted date palm jaggery sprinkling some water.

Grease cake tin with oil, dust with refined flour. Pour jaggery, spread.

Place pear slice in middle. Cover hole with walnuts.

To batter, add baking powder, baking soda, vanilla essence, beat for 1/2 a minute. Pour into cake tin.

Heat wok on stovetop for 5-6 minutes placing stand in middle.

Tap cake tin on kitchen counter, then place on stand. Cover with lid. Insert clove if lid has hole.

It took me 1 hour 20 minutes to bake at minimal heat. 

Once cool, turn over on plate. Cut thin at end for cake to set on plate.

Enjoy with choice of beverage!

AN EASY MADE MIXED FRUIT SPREAD

Writing blogpost I enjoy, today I am unwell since mid-morning! I ain't under weather, stomach ache troubling, it has gotten weak. I was asked to quit meat in 1994 by Dr.Nan, also to eat less of greens & vegetables, I have chronic Colitis he warned parents. Then, I can quit chicken, not mutton. I have to eat leafy greens, vegetables. I have constipation, I need enough fibres. We request health experts in respective fields to sit together, write uniform rule books in respective fields of expertise, else it gets confusing for us! I had been vocal about it for sometime now. I think thick lentil crepe, local style greens, black chana sabzi, cheese slice Mac chicken muffin I had recently jointly caused me stomach pain while on my walk this morning. I went to the following area after long, about 7-8 jackfruit trees were chopped, your sorrow affects your physical health, we don't need degrees to know this.

We may discuss about each when I share on my social media handles. I repeat eat, can't digest big meals, it became an issue. A diabetic can't have Munchi pancakes, local chilled desserts regular. I enjoy chilled pasta+choice of fruit tossed in oil. I liked chicken muffin, thr breakfast items were still being served, felt muffin buns are better than burger buns, cheese slice caused trouble. Not anymore hot Americano coffee tastes bitter, my stomach cannot stand milk, sugar. I didn't go too far from residence. I have soft corners for birds, animals, not yet ready to adapt veganism, gluten-free diets. One shouldn't eat anything moving like man, son! We may eat chicken, fish, seafood regular; mutton, beef, pork at times, cleaned well. Turning vegan is good move, requires strong will power!

Dr. Nan's nursing home was tiny, but too clean. Post surgery, for long I would drop down at Tala Park bus stop, look for his residence, not to gate crash. Also, he was 60+, I was 24. I kept doing it even after Dr. Gobinda Sen assessed strong anaesthesia may have been a reason for my mental issues. Dr. Govinda Sen was nice too, last year I read there has one mental hospital in his name there. I would look for it, curiosity isn't bad always. The same fear came back in December, 2024. It's not health experts' fault, it's my weak, fear mongering self, sure.  Why did I look for Dr. Nan, is it gratitude? The psychology within is complex, interesting but. Even in past years, I searched internet about him until last year when a friend told family knew Dr. Nan's, no one from his family became doctor after him, may be all kids went to the school we went. Which friend told I forgot. If I don't get my brain working, I may have dementia! 

My life is ruled by fears, I can't bypass any, I have accepted I have to live with it until my end. I don't want to stay at home 24/7, I must go out everyday, love walks. I dislike anyone instructing me about what I do, what I don't! Above are few of dishes I cooked last weekend. You cannot say I don't care for my family!

Home cooked meals are best. I am scared of gram-flour, never liked "besan toasts", liked thin coated, low oil "besan toasts" few days back. Our tastebuds keep changing. The son, his father wouldn't ever have "besan toasts, muri-gur-narkol", I never force.

Making condiments, pickles / jam / jelly was regular in family. The mother bought bottle of Kissan mixed fruit jam every month, herself made few varieties; guava, mango, pineapple. She used pectin, did in bulk. I use lemon as preservative, make in small batch, else spoils. We need chemical preservatives for longevity. 

I prepared this AN EASY MADE MIXED FRUIT SPREAD last May. Any day, I can eat toasted bread thickly coated with butter & spread. Earlier, I learnt about differences among spread, jam, compote, jelly; now forgot. Calling it spread is safer. I made it using few ingredients; raw mango, green grapes, sugar, permitted food colour, lemon juice! It's tasty, vegan. gluten-free, dairy-free. What else? There's no point knowing other's motives, intents, more I know, sorrow awaits. Instead, I would cook, read, write, listen to music, do Tai Chi, swim, walk!

INGREDIENTS :

GRAPE JUICE : 1 COFFEE MUG

RAW MANGO PASTE : OF 2 STANDARD SIZED

SUGAR : 1/2 SMALL TEA CUP

EDIBLE GREEN FOOD COLOUR : 2-3 DROPS [I USED CAKE MAKING ESSENCES]

LEMON JUICE : OF ONE BIG LEMON

PROCEDURE :

I washed, blended two handful of grapes adding little water. 

Thereafter, I strained it to extract juice.

Cristine, peeled, washed, cut small the mangoes. 

I blended them to get a paste discarding seeds.

I put for boil everything together except lemon juice, food colour.

I kept stirring, added food colour, lemon juice towards end. 

Its done when mixture comes out clean from wok.

Once cold, transfer to sterilised jar, preferably of glass.

STEAMED OIL-FREE FLUFFY DELIGHT

 It's 4:50 pm exactly, when to finish? I don't need to hurry today, son's father is travelling, son you know left home back in 2020. I wasn't home since morning, neither in great mood, unwilling to speak elaborate. As I say, people like me carry lot of emotional baggages, we pick up. It's okay but weight feels heavier as I age. I can't avoid baggages either, hold tight! It's engagement for me, an idle self's favourite pastime. 

On several occasions son's father told attachments, expectations causes sorrow. It feels thankful he doesn't shower instructions, do's & don'ts, else what? I would have rented space in Barasat, worked in a school that made me feel important, gave me meaty subjects to teach, made me feel trustworthy at age 22-23. 

Where is Ruma? She had been gentle, sincere, studious girl from backward section of society. Her family valued education. She told me how her eldest brother wished to do higher studies, was forced to join Kalyani Hospital's administrative department post graduation following father. He bore educational expenses of Ruma, her sister, youngest brother. I am looking for her since years, forgot second name. She visited our Barrackpore home two times, after our masters classes gave over. She persuaded me to face MPhil interview at the Jadavpur University saying, "no worries, SBRC would be in interview board"; I laughed, told my heart beats louder for him, not his. The word "Interview" is fearful. Thereafter, she visited home one day, saying she joined Bagula College, they require part-time lecturer, in both cases I lacked confidence. May be I was more interested in filling BEd form at Kalyani University, in case I get to see sir DS everyday, I finally did it from RBU. I was doing all these when man was sailing, gifting me Clinique, Elizabeth Arden, Este Lauder, Swarovsky! Fickle minded? I don't know if love, infatuations, commitments, responsibilities can walk together, humans are polygamous in nature I believe. This one man, one woman throughout life is big lie, scam. Partners need to be friendly to understand this, restore peace!

Ruma & I last met on my marriage day, I was happy our mother gave away my notebooks to her. This story I told earlier, I wish to reconnect. I may ask another professor about her, my comfort level with him had been deep, such deep that one day he told me Ruma got infatuated towards him, that he doesn't feel same towards her. Relationships are never easy, but complicated. I know who he liked, his romantic feeling was divided among two of my girlfriends. You bet, this too can happen. I heard his better half teaches in college, may be they have a son. Last I wrote to him was to invite him on our son's rice feeding ceremony, he couldn't attend. I wanted him to visit us, didn't anticipating man, him may get into arguments; both were leftists; man had been SFI leader in college, Sir was Naxalite, that period student union in Presidency college had been. May be his rigid political stand didn't let him position in prestigious Calcutta University. He would often quote from Marx, followed his teaching, taught Communist Manifesto. Till date he perhaps stays in Tangra Housing Estate, both teaches in college. I wouldn't ask son to follow sir, but his father's footsteps. 

What are we? The man is an Elitist Leftist, every evening needs Scotch. I may be social democrat or just humanist. What is son? He isn't left minded we know. Some other day we may talk about few others, Kunal sir, Hazra sir, even BEd department teachers at RBU. During final viva, my terror, they were compassionate just because I was newly married, yet sacrificed honeymoon to attend practice teaching, workshops. I smile remembering how generous, gentle HOD of BEd did not like my projects, cut outs, paintings I am too poor at. Man who was on leave, his sister did projects for me. The other students were too good at those, eye catching works. I loved the second paper most, psychology! Our mother was major supporter, my brother, daddy, mother-in-law had no interest, father-in-law silently appreciated my journey. I did nothing with the degrees.

I never feel if I worked I could have amassed gold, I believe if we get economically independent, we become valuable members of society. I have no restrictions in life, neither I am major decision maker. You can't be neither I want, my brain matter, that makes this home peaceful. I dislike men interfering in kitchen matters, that is enraging. Man doesn't,  his focus shifts. He hardly minds my solo afternoon walks, food.

I don't mind clicking my sweaty self, condition improved after I started losing weight! Let me wrap, share recipe of this oil-free vegetarian snack; STEAMED OIL-FREE FLUFFY DELIGHT, its vegan & gluten-free. I came across similar recipe by one Keralite blogger, Bengali blogger; I see Phillipines, Malaysia, South East Asia cook similar kinds. I used rice flour, coconut, yeast, sugar, cooked rice following reels, garnished it with dried cranberries, blueberries. Whilst I continue to blog, there may be gaps. There are major decisions, changes awaiting us, we want or not. Thats heart wrenching, we must accept reality. I don't live in reality but in dream utopia! But reality, facts prevail, not dreams, that causes me hurt, yet I can't be practical! Deep inside, I enjoy my obsessions, none would I allow to dictate my course of life, my man is friend, our weird son is love, who to fear? They give me space. I have always handled myself with dignity, what to fear about? We shouldn't force entry to places we are not welcomed, wanted. You may ask why do I peep here and there if my men and family love me? Trust me, I don't, it happens, I get stuck unknowingly!

INGREDIENTS :

RICE FLOUR : 1/2 COFFEE MUG

SHREDDED COCONUT : 5-6 TBSP

COOKED RICE : 2-3 TBSP

YEAST : 1 TSP

SALT : A PINCH OR TWO

SUGAR : 2-3 TBSP [YOU MAY NEED MORE]

WARM COCONUT MILK : AS REQUIRED FOR PASTE LIKE CONSISTENCY

BLUEBERRIES : A HANDFUL

DRIED CRANBERRIES : A HANDFUL

PROCEDURE :

Take all ingredients in blender except blueberries & cranberries.

Blend to fine paste. Transfer to deep bottomed vessel.

Wash blueberries & dried cranberries. Add maximum to batter, mix. Cover vessel with lid, keep inside microwave oven for 2-3 hours.

Grease bowl with few drops of oil, pour batter.

Boil water in manual steamer, place bowl with batter on top. Steam covered at low heat for 30 minutes or until cooked, insert toothpick to know.

Take out, let cool a bit, loosen sides, turn over onto a plate.

Enjoy with choice of beverage.

MY ANYTIME SNACK

Words ain't rushing naturally today, mind feels restless at times. When I seep choice of beverage, food; elsewhere families mourn for one reason or the other. I keep doing meditation, chanting to keep calm but get bothered. Thats okay, I tell my own, son being strong doesn't mean to become emotionless, that is wrong! Our hearts should get bothered for others. We can't be bothered about home cleaning when neighbours go through crisis. Anytime crisis may land on us; if we remember this, we remain humanely. Son avoids me, I send him lessons of humanity. Our degrees are incomplete if we lack feeling. His father dislikes my interference, poking habit. 

What to do? I remain myself, cook whenever it feels like, Cristine cleans! I roam around islandwide, soak in shower & shine, eat, click!

Kolkata can't give me freedom to put on earphone, walk freely. I am not blaming anyone, situation is such. We must own car, even if Alto, I wouldn't ride regular. Upscaled Indian cities have similar facilities like this island, can't have same facilities. BTW, the blue top I have asked Cristine to give away, I have worn, gotten clicked, done with. The colour is nice, I ain't fond of frills, feels ancient.

Today is Rathyatra! When son was young, not influenced by atheist father, grandfathers; he would get wooden chariot from me every year. Our mother would decorate it with flowers, place idols; littler would go out with maternal grandma or paternal grandfather to draw chariot. The lanes of Kolkata would look colourful. Time passes fast, I miss those days! I wanted some free time then, now want son to visit us, so I can serve, take care of him. Too early in life he left home. I only wish him to stay well, secured. What else can I do? Should it be anything otherwise? We have no right to be parents if our hearts do not beat for our kids.

I just want to break shackles of different thoughts, keep out of any involvement! This isn't fleeting mind, it has to interfere, get deeply involved everywhere! I know thats irritating. Some behaviour irritates me too, I keep calm, not in habit of misbehaving, don't want to!

I indulge in hobbies. I keep cooking, eat major portions, read, listen to music. Whenever my semolina dhokla, idli fail, I get upma, enjoy having. Sometime back, I had Amriti / Amitti sweet with Muri-Khoi mix.

Since evening before yesterday, I had been trying to roast peanuts at home using minimal oil. The salt roasted peanuts were well done. This morning, spice coated peanuts in oven using 1tsp oil were overdone. I try to serve low oil snacks to man, in evening he needs with scotch! I have an issue about it, I was okay when he had wine.

My much loved Bengali rice plate looks like below. It had Hisla light curry, raw mango lentil curry, Taro stolon-garlic stir-fry!

Let's wrap up now. I don't know whats making me feel tired today, may be weird news of sorrow from different quarters. I feel better when I am outdoor; walking, eating this & that. Media needs to have restraints, not that we are saved if we avoid reality, close our eyes, but whats the point making my kinds fall sick, specially in case of parents whose kids stay far. 

I cooked this lightly sweet snack; vegan & gluten-free in this new wok I bought from Lazada!

I am loving it, not pricey either! I think I have shared a similar recipe last year, if not same! This time, I roasted sesame seeds, shredded coconut too! An yum vegetarian snacker; MY ANYTIME SNACKER got sticky easily! When we roast, blend, oil released mixes with sugar, binds quick. Raw coconut we love may cause stomach pain at times.

INGREDIENTS : 

SHREDDED COCONUT : 1 & 1/2 COFFEE MUG

WHITE SESAME SEED : 3 TBSP

WALNUT : 4-5

PISTACHIO : 5-6

SUGAR : 4-5 TSP

GREEN CARDAMOM POWDER : 1/4 TSP

PROCEDURE :

Roast white sesame seeds at minimal heat taken in wok, transfer to bowl.

Roast shredded coconut at minimal heat for3-4 minutes, transfer to bowl. Let cool.

Blend both to coarse powder. 

Transfer to wok, add sugar, green cardamom powder. 

Keep heat at minimal, stir continuously until mixture gets sticky.

Add chopped walnuts. 

Stir and transfer to plate, shape square. 

Sprinkle roasted, crushed pistachios. Shape as you wish. Enjoy!